- me: can you not
- me: put your head down you're not a giraffe
- me: can you please go faster
- me: oh god slow down horse slow down
- me: stop being so sassy for the love of god
- me: look at that horse over there! do what he's doing
- me: what the hell are you looking at
- me: oh look, it's a person. much fright. so very scare.
- me: it's another horse can yoU CALM DOWN
- me: that blanket has been there the entire time we've been in here why are you afraid of it now.
- horse: herp derp derp derp
- me: *face palms*
- Me: Fuck off, mare.
- Me: Damn it, was that a leak? In my Irideons? REALLY?
- Me: Uh-uh, I don't think so, bitch, I'ma drop my shit in the wash rack before you park your stupid horse.
- Me: Ugh, I don't want to do this today.
- Me: But do the horses HAVE to be turned out?
- Me: WHERE'S MY FUCKING BRIDLE?
- Me: Okay, where's my fucking hoof pick? WHO USED MY HOOF PICK?
- Me: No, that's mine.
- Me: You better take this bit, bitch.
- Me: If I can't find a halter to fit his massive head, I swear...
- Me: Okay, the wash rack is a mess and I would rather not put my horse in your slop. Fix that, will ya hon? Honestly...
- Me: Screw the lesson kids, I have tack to clean.
- Me: I wanna go hooommmeee.
- Me: Is it safe to ride on pain killers, do you think?
The reason I don’t smile when I’m riding is because I’m trying to remember where the fuck I’m going.
Or what the fuck I’m doing
Or how the fuck to do it
And if I am smiling, it’s because i just fucked up and i’m trying to cover it up.
This is the best equestrian post on tumblr